my feet at old school.
Today is 9/27/2013 I went to see the Dean on the day this post was originally posted and instead I had a nervous break down in his office and had to walk out because earlier when I was at Harvest outreach T*** called me about an email I sent her and J*** H about rape in India etc… I had a row with her and since then 9/6/13 I haven’t spoken to her or anyone else from their office again. At the meeting today 9/27/13 a 15 girl who’s abuser of 9 years is in prison for 38 years was talking about how T*** is helping her to reach out to groups in the area and etc..etc.. I don’t know what I felt about that …it felt to me almost like T*** only wants to help when the work is already done. I don’t want her help because I feel that she’s a part of the system that let me down but that 15 year old’s (white female) attacker is behind bars and they have a wonderful working relationship apparently. This teenager helps hundreds of other teens and has a blog and answers emails and with her help many abusers have been arrested and convicted. I’m really happy that she is doing this I just wish that I didn’t feel so different from her in the sense that she got justice and seems complete and I didn’t get justice. I don’t think I will ever trust T*** or any of them ever again. I don’t trust anyone and this situation with this girl even though I’m happy for her makes me jealous and it makes me feel like a loser. But,…….. whatever, such is life. I need to do my part in this fight. And I need to be happy for the success of others, after all we’re all in this fight together and fighting for the same cause.